Single Chinese Man Urges Parents Not to Rush Their Children into Marriage Just to Gain ‘Face’

| Feb 08, 2017 08:58 AM EST

Your girlfriend can be just a click away.

If you think only single Chinese women are affected by their marital status, single men feel the same, too.

In fact, one reader wrote to the Global Times and admitted how he shared the same sentiment with the reporter who wrote about "Single women deserve more respect in China."

Cui Bowen, a post-graduate student in translation studies at Beijing Language and Culture University, is saddened how unmarried children being laughed and criticized by others affect parents, thus rushing them into marriage to save face in front of their neighbors and relatives.

Bowen also agreed that Chinese New Year can be a nightmare especially for young people who have reached the marrying age.

“Returning home without a partner becomes an annoyance for both parents and children, especially for some parents who are crazy about showing off their superiority by comparing their children with those of neighbors and relatives,” wrote Bowen.

He blamed the disparity between the mindset of young Chinese people and parents nowadays, where the latter refuses to keep up with the rapid change in the society.

“Parents treat their kids' marriage as a way to continue the family line and show off to others. By contrast, younger generations don't regard marriage as a necessity and put personal happiness as a top priority,” he lamented.

While he acknowledged the parents’ traditional role to interfere in their kids’ relationships and marriage, Bowen thinks they need to make their children understand their intention of just helping them find someone who can take care of them and eventually lead to a happy life.

“I hope all the parents, like mom, put emphasis on what their children really want,” Bowen said.

This pressure on children to get married often leads to conflicts or faking relationships. As the conflict escalates, it turns to obstacle during the family bonding and reunions.

In an article published at Today Online, Dr. Xuan Li, assistant professor of Psychology at New York University Shanghai revealed some of the reasons why single Chinese men are having a hard time marrying.

Some of the reasons include single men outnumbering women, women who are more educated, confident, and successful than men, and the fact that they now marry for love rather than just to save face.

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