We all want a man who loves and adores his mother, but if he has to check with his mother every single time, especially when it comes to all the major decisions in his life, this will raise an impression that he is a "mama's boy" and it can become a problem later on.
"Mama's boy" or "big babies" refers to an adult who acts young and immature. This issue has recently sparked an online debate after famous Chinese psychologist, Wu Zhihong published a book entitled, "Nation of Giant Infants."
Wu Zhihong claims that in China, the mental age of most adults is stuck at the level of a 6-month-old baby.
Wu has spent 21 years researching individuals, family, and society in China for a psychological point-of-view. He used to write for the Guangzhou's Daily's psycho-health column and has published more than 10 books.
Overprotective Parents
In the post-'80s and '90s generation, immaturity is very popular among Chinese. But compared with the post-'60s and '70s generation, the younger generations don't act according to their age--mentally and emotionally speaking.
"The primary factor stunting their development was lack of individuality," said Ma Zezhong, a psychologist and the executive director of the Beijing Association for Mental Health.
She emphasized that family, education, and social environment play a big role for this immaturity as many post '80s and '90s Chinese parents spoiled their children and were overprotective, leading to their slow mental growth.
Liu Guo, a 30-year-old Chinese psychological consultant working in the U.S., revealed that her mom, who still lives in China, still treats her like a child, often telling her what to do.
While Guo knows how much her mom loves her, that behavior in the U.S. culture would already be considered as crossing boundaries for an adult who is capable of making her own decisions.
"Everyone has a little child inside them and big babies should not be completely ignored," said Ma.
Ma stresses the importance of people acknowledging and accepting their immaturity. Individuals must socialize more to develop their personality and individuality.
Of course, we shouldn't ask a man to choose between his mother or girlfriend; but you should never let your girlfriend feel she's always the second choice and your mother will always be your priority.
Chances are, no woman will be ever good enough for you and you will always be tagged as "mama's boy" or "big baby" forever.