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Ellen DeGeneres Talks About Scary And Crazy Moments Of Coming Out, Reveals Inspiration Behind 'Phone Call To God' Skit

| Oct 27, 2015 08:16 AM EDT

Ellen DeGeneres is seen at the 9th season finale of 'American Idol.'

Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has opened up about her early years of coming out and a personal tragedy that completely changed her life's focus, and inspired her famed performance on Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show."

DeGeneres who appeared on "Oprah's Master Class" tells viewers her most defining moment in her career may not have happened had she not attended a retreat at the Sealen Institute.

"It was scary and crazy and what came out of listening to what I had been saying to myself is, 'Would I still be famous? Would they still love me if they knew I was gay," DeGeneres recalls of her time at the Institute. 

In the end DeGeneres says she realized that she did not want to pretend to be somebody else anymore, "hoping that people would like me." 

The stand-up comedian publicly came out as being a lesbian in 1997, at the time DeGeneres also appeared in a sitcom called "Ellen," and broke ground when her character in the show came out as well, the Huffington Post reported.

During the course of DeGeneres' discussion on Oprah's OWN network she revealed that her girlfriend, whom she had been living with, died suddenly in car accident. The experience left DeGeneres shattered and ridden with guilt, but with the idea that it would be comforting to be able to pick up the phone and speak to God about it.

The concept stuck with her and many years later DeGeneres was invited to Johnny Carson's show, where she performed the "Phone Call To God" skit for the first time on network television.

Carson had reportedly been impressed and invited DeGeneres to sit at his couch, making her the first female comedian to do so.

Meanwhile, another event for DeGeneres to look forward to will be the launch of her fourth book called "Home," where she documents the makeovers of seven of her properties which she purchased together with wife Portia De Rossi, according to Vogue.

The talk show host has taken interior design quite seriously, and launched "Ellen's Design Challenge" along with her lifestyle collection called "ED."

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