Everybody’s looking forward to the Lunar New Year, when families gather for one big reunion to celebrate the most festive of Chinese holidays, but for China’s single and marriageable population, there’s one question they dread the most: “Why are you still single?”
According to a China Daily article written by Raymond Zhou, older family members are back into pestering marriage-age children with a long line of questions and advice.
While other family members are well-meaning, Zhou wrote, other families are more hardline with their stance on marriage, threatening to disown their children if they don't get settled down soon.
"While most parents will discourage their children from dating while in college, they expect the youngsters to find an ideal partner a year or two after graduation. And many find it unsettling for them if you show up for the all-important Lunar New Year without even a date when you are approaching 30," Zhou wrote.
It's not just the family that pressure's China's marriage-age population into marriage--the whole village might very well join in. Hushed whispers and friendly greetings can quickly escalate to frank statements and suggestions such as, "You're not getting younger. You should consider the institution."
To avoid the incessant barrage of questions regarding singlehood, Zhou suggests single Chinese people to start asking questions first as a means of giving other people a taste of what it's like having somebody pry into others' personal affairs.
Zhou also wrote that lying about one's current relationship status will help lessen the volume of questions. He also wrote, however, that this method doesn't work as often as some families see through the ruse, demanding photo evidence.
The best way, perhaps, to address the generation gap and the different views is to just sit down with one's parents and grandparents.
"Don't avoid the sit-down talk where you can explain to them how you feel," Zhou wrote in his article. "It may help them a little in understanding the young generation. Late marriage or singlehood can be perfectly valid options for some, and there are many examples in the big city."