Learning to say no so as not to feel like a traitor is the real art. There are a few tricks that can make this task easier.

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The soft refusal technique, which is the easiest way to start asserting your psychological boundaries. It looks like this: you agree to one part of the request and refuse the other. For example, a friend asks you to explain to him how to use the best online casino Canada on Friday night. And you tell him, "I'd be happy to keep you company, but at this time, I will be at a lecture. How about Monday afternoon?"

So on the one hand, you're not saying no, but on the other, you're slowly getting her used to the fact that you may have plans of your own, too.

Deferred "No"

This technique is also great for beginners. It is especially useful for those who agree instantly and then regret it. It's simple: you need to refuse not at once, and to give yourself time for reflection. That is, in response to a request, you say, "Listen, I can't tell you right now, I need to look at the diary." So you protect yourself from rash actions that you may regret later.

Said that the answer later - do it by all means. Otherwise he will be offended and angry. And he will be right.

Empathetic "No"

You cannot skimp on words. The more precisely you find them, the greater the chance of success. This technique is as follows: you sincerely sympathize with the person, express your support and love. But do not agree to his request. At the emotional level, you show your sympathy, and at the rational level, you give a refusal. For example, if someone you know asks you for a loan, you may say: "Guys, I sympathize with you. Your situation is so difficult, I do not know how you cope at all! I wish I could help, I really do. But I can't, unfortunately. I hope you can find a way.

Delegating "No"

This denial technique looks like this: in response to a request, you say you can't do it. But you know where you can go to get someone other than you to help the person.

There's a trick to this. If you just give the person asking for help, it may upset, offend, or make them angry. But if you sit down next to him, look for him or give him a specific phone number, and add more details as well, the chance of success increases dramatically.

"No" in Exchange

It's not exactly a no, but it's still a good way to set psychological boundaries. This method is a bargain. For example, a child asks you to cook his favorite meal. And you answer, "I would like to make you happy, but I don't have enough time - I have dishes to do, and cooking to do. All together I will not have time. But if you do the dishes, then I'll have time to make you a yummy sweet." Let him get used to helping around the house and respecting your time.